Gotta Catch 'Em All!
by Neferit
Summary: Gotta Catch 'Em All - collection of trading cards by Starkémon Co. Kink Meme inspired. Just pure idiocy.


**A/N:** So, the prompt said: _The crew of the enterprise reach celebrity status after saving Earth, complete with action figures and trading cards. What info would be included on their trading cards?_

And this one was all: Ooooh, so gotta catch 'em all!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, just my own idiocy.

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**Gotta Catch 'Em All!**

Gotta Catch 'Em All - collection of trading cards by Starkémon co. Consist of cards:

**Christopher Pike**  
**Age:** 55  
**Nickname:** Chrissy, Puncher  
**Status:** single  
**Likes:** beer, cheese cake  
**Dislikes:** anything with bugs or slugs in it  
**Most famous quote:** "Punch it."  
**History: **Born in Montana, 2203, parents Adam and Elizabeth Pike. Other family: brother Josh, sister Amaziga.

**James Tiberius Kirk**  
**Age:** 25  
**Nickname:** Jim, Tee, Kork, 2hot4U  
**Status:** Single (although many count him as their own)  
**Likes:** chocolate ice-cream, sirloin sauce with dumplings, hamburgers, cheesburgers, Pilsner Urquell beer  
**Disliked:** dill-sauce, most vegetables, seafood, daddy issues  
**Most famous quote**: "Buckle up!"  
**History: **born on medical shuttle of USS Kelvin, parents Winona Kirk and George Kirk. Other family: uncle Frank, brother George Samuel, grandfather Tiberius, about 10 children of various races their mothers swear are fathered by Kirk.

**Leonard Horacio McCoy**  
**Age:** 31  
**Nickname:** Bones, Sunshine, LeonardoDeBones  
**Status:** single (divorced)  
**Likes:** peaches, bourbon, popcorn  
**Dislikes:** cheap bear, everything what makes fat stuff your veins, ex-wifes  
**Most famous quote:** "I may throw up on you."  
**History: **born in Mississippi, parents Eleanor and David McCoy. Former wife Jocelyn, daughter Joanna. Other family: the rest of the city, because everyone swears they are related to McCoys.

**Spock**  
**Age:** 28  
**Nickname:** Sprocket, Spork  
**Status:** taken  
**Likes:** mint chocolate, plomeek soup, coffee  
**Dislikes:** meat of any kind, otherwise, preferences are illogical  
**Most famous quote:** "I have no comment on the matter."  
**History: **Born on Vulcan, city of ShiKahr. Parents Amanda Grayson and Ambassador Sarek. Other known family: grandmother T'Pau, grandfather Skon, grandmother Amy, grandfather Jason, uncle Mark, aunt Monice, cousins Anne, Jack, Ellie and Tom.

**Pavel Andreievich Chekov**  
**Age: ** 17  
**Nickname**: Vonderkid  
**Status**: single  
**Likes: ** borsch, vodka, cheesburgers, black tea  
**Dislikes: **fries, cold water, letters V and W  
**Most famous quote: ** "Are we there yet?"  
**History: **Born in Moscow, 2241, parents: Oleg and Natasha Chekov, other known family: sisters Olga and Yekaterina, brothers Alexander and Nikolay; Pavel Andreievich is descendant of Anton Pavlovich Chekhov.

**Samuel Giotto**  
**Age**: 22  
**Nickname: ** Cupcake  
**Status: ** single  
**Likes: **beer, Andorian Sunrise  
**Dislikes: ** cupcakes, vodka  
**Most famous quote: ** "Helooooo, Cupcake!"  
**History: **Born in Wisconsin, 2236, parents: Amelia and Anakin Giotto, other known family: uncle Padawan, uncle Yoda, sister Padme.

**Noyta Uhura**  
**Age: **22  
**Nickname: ** Hotlips  
**Status: **taken  
**Likes: **tea, chocolate, Risan Lagoon  
**Dislikes: ** beer, asparagus, artichoke, boob grabs  
**Most famous quote: ** "You mean you do not have sex with farm animals?"  
**History: **Born in Nairobi, 2236, parents: Victoria and Mwai Uhura, other known family: sister Mia.

**Hikaru Sulu**  
**Age: **22  
**Nickname: ** d'Artagnan  
**Status: ** single  
**Likes: ** rice, pork, vegetables  
**Dislikes: ** fish, brakes  
**Most famous quote: ** "Hands up, pants down!"  
**History: **born in San Francisco, 2236, parents: Kagome and George Sulu, sister Sango, brother Hojo.

**Montgomery Scott**  
**Age: ** 36  
**Nickname: ** Scotty  
**Status: **single (or taken, depends on Enterprise mood)  
**Likes: **haggis, scotch, oatmeal, sandwiches of any kind  
**Dislikes: ** everything that barks  
**Most famous quote: ** "I didn't do it!"  
**History: ** born in Aberdeen, 2222, parents: Maeve and Kenneth Scott, brothers Malcolm and Duncan.


End file.
